I met Helen on a dismal, drizzly day in New York City. A member of my Aids Walk 2011 group, she was a new face in the crowd. Helen was dressed and ready to march in a bright yellow rain poncho. Or maybe it wasn’t bright yellow and I just I think it was. That’s the kind of brilliant personality Helen has—sunshiny and radiant.
As I’ve come to know and work with Helen as her nutritional coach I’ve learned that she’s not just an extremely positive person; she despises negativity of any kind, especially her own. Helen is a joy junkie. If for a moment she is not feeling loving, happy, accommodating, and entertaining she becomes uncomfortable. And this discomfort often sends her to the grocery store, not just for goodies that she can later gulp down to quiet any negative feelings, but because this is where she recalls wonderful memories—for example, loving recollections of her mother driving to the market, singing along the way.
It was clear to me that Helen’s expectation of herself as a consistently luminous and upbeat person was unrealistic; it was self-defeating, really. One of my goals is to help her understand that negative feelings are normal.
In our first session we discussed the notion of riding a feeling rather than hiding it because, like it or not, that emotion will probably surface again. When it does rear its ugly head, we want to make sure it’s not accompanied by a bottomless bowl of guacamole.
Helen has taken to eating in her likeness in the same way that a fish takes to water. Before I had a chance to offer her an opening assignment, to write a goal and an affirmation, she told me about the affirmations she was scripting and scattering about her apartment.
Helen is ready for a plan that is authentic and sustainable. Willing, finally, to trust herself outside of the confines of a diet, she’s eager to learn how to discern true hunger as opposed to an urge to engage in dissociative (mindless) eating. Helen is also eager to reveal, in this blog, what she is discovering.
I’m a firm believer in learning through the experiences of other people, and I’m very grateful to Helen for opening her journal with the intention of benefiting others who struggle with issues of eating.
Take it away, Helen!
Where do I want to be . . . I want to be in a place where I am relaxed, yet focused I want to be asking more questions . . . I want to strive to be always present and sensitive to what I am hearing, seeing and doing I want to be a conduit for positive energy for myself and others I want to be persistent and not ashamed by what I don’t know ...
When I see someone who is overweight, I feel so sad! I know what it is like, and I most likely am “overweight” to people still! Yet, I have a different head on my shoulders these days …now and forever, and I feel encouraged by my results, though slow, they are steady. I think, I hope, that the culture will come to the idea of a “no more diet” mentality, of looking for the ...
When I think of “jubilation” I think of rejoicing! I think about gratitude, and how important an expression it has become in my daily thoughts and behavior! When I think of “rumination” I think of how powerful my thoughts and their expression are in directing my behavior, which makes me rejoice! But heart, “heart” is the energy for all of this and that . . .as the lyric goes . . .”you ...
The only thing I am concerning myself with these days is my character! My reputation is is what other people think and say, and I have no control over that! My character is who I truly am, and how I sit, stand, and function in the world . . .that I do have some control over . . . and I had this thought that there is a relationship between these two things ...
PERSISTENCE. . .but ultimately FOCUS on the mission. It is so easy to get off the track, off your horse, to be distracted, to be disordered!
One of the things I love about Manhattan, the many choices, and decisions that have to be made; but, they are a thief of time, don’t you think?
In France they call it coming distractions . . .not attractions . . .wonder why?
I was working with a client that dropped me off at 55th and 7th, and it was 11 A.M. I had been up since 5 preparing for the day, and I was hungry. I thought of all the times I went in, and ate with friends for the past half century, and I walked through the doors thinking “yum” what am I in the mood for! So I asked the guy behind the counter ...
My body remembers how it felt to be stronger! I was in the water class on Saturday,and we did something so unusual! We did some water ballet moves as an ensemble, and I remembered how that felt, as it did when I was a teenager. It felt so good. . .and I was there again for a moment! Now I can get back to that feeling/sensation, and I want to flex and stretch ...
What is my intention . . .mostly before I started working with Carol I was on automatic pilot! I had made my habits, and my habits had made me . . .not the way I would ideally like. So what would that be? How would I get there? Every time I would try to change my behavior it would work for awhile, but then I would role back into my old patterns. Why is ...
Worry, concern, whatever you want to call it, is totally useless. It causes all kind of problems like raises my blood pressure, temperature, and even can be a trigger for eating and drinking! Deciding not to worry about anything any more, and never having “to diet” again is helping me so very much! Let’s talk turkey! I am fat, and worrying about it isn’t going to change anything except in a deleterious way. Taking ...
Who wants to be like everyone else and fit in!?” “Fit In to what?” Who wants to copy or follow what a celebrity does, or wears, or the style or look or fad or movement of the moment? A teen perhaps, or anyone who is insecure, and doesn’t trust their own “inner compass”! Granted not everyone has the design gene or can even see all color . . .and the frontal lobe is ...
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International No Diet Day: Tips for Staying Diet Free
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